| For better or worse, man has tamed | | | | road. So did street lights. Bright |
| Mother Nature in many countries. My | | | | street lights. Street lights that lit up |
| general impression is this isn't the | | | | the inside of the van. |
| case in Costa Rica. | | | | And the things in it. |
| San Jose to Carrillo | | | | Cockroaches. Big cockroaches. They were |
| Roughly ten of us had decided to head to | | | | climbing on the walls of the van and |
| Costa Rica for a week to stay at a | | | | across the floors. A few even took off |
| friend's place just outside the beach | | | | and flew from one wall to the other. |
| town of Carrillo on the west coast. We | | | | This is the part in the movie where the |
| flew into San Jose and were supposed to | | | | men, Picasso and I, take action to |
| be met by a rental company | | | | protect our female companion, Stuart. Of |
| representative that had two new VW vans | | | | course, who believes what they see in |
| for us. | | | | the movies? In our case, Picasso |
| As often happens in such situations, we | | | | screamed like a little girl and started |
| weren't met by anyone much less a person | | | | stomping on the floor and kicking the |
| with vans. Calls were made but not | | | | walls. I, in turn, did the ultimate |
| answered. Lunch was had. Calls were made | | | | crunch, which is to say I whipped my |
| again and finally answered. After a bit | | | | legs off the ground with such speed as |
| of "intense" conversation, we were told | | | | to make a drill sergeant weep with joy. |
| the vans would be at the airport in 15 | | | | I then jumped off the bench just to make |
| minutes. Roughly two hours later, two VW | | | | sure there weren't any of the little |
| vans apparently stolen from Woodstock | | | | buggers in my shorts. Stuart, on the |
| rolled into parking lot. The trip had | | | | other hand, just laughed at us. |
| certainly started on a sour note, but we | | | | Our driver whipped over to the side of |
| decided to cut our losses and take the | | | | the road to find out what the heck was |
| vans. | | | | going on. The other van pulled over as |
| As we rolled out of San Jose, it was | | | | well and discovered they had a cockroach |
| starting to get dark. Unaware that a new | | | | problem as well. We were apparently |
| highway had been opened, we followed the | | | | driving the hive around the country. |
| old route which wound through the | | | | After obtaining a little liquid courage |
| mountains and added two hours to the | | | | at one of the cafes in the village, we |
| trip. Two hours that would haunt us for | | | | came up with a solution for keeping the |
| days. | | | | creepy crawlies at bay. More liquid |
| As the hours passed, we laughed away the | | | | courage, drivers excepted. Much more. |
| time reliving the past. I was sitting in | | | | New bravery in hand, we reclaimed the |
| the back of the van with Stuart, a nurse | | | | vans and hauled it to Carrillo as fast |
| in San Diego, and Picasso, a graphic | | | | as possible. Picasso danced the |
| designer for surf clothing companies. We | | | | cockroach crunch throughout the |
| were all in shorts and flip flops, which | | | | remainder of the trip, which made for a |
| was appropriate for the heat and | | | | messy van and the need for new flip |
| humidity. How I wished I had worn pants | | | | flops. I hoped I was imagining things |
| and boots. | | | | crawling on my legs. Stuart just kept |
| As we drove along, we happened to come | | | | laughing. |
| upon a little village. Little cafes and | | | | Nature is beautiful, except when it |
| stores passed us as we drove down the | | | | ain't! |